Pluses and Minuses

Today, I am tired.  This post may be short. It is important to me that I share my experiences.  Notice I am not apologizing unnecessarily.  I am using the Self respect effectiveness skill of FAST (FAST).  Being firm, avoiding unnecessary apologies, sticking to my values, and being true to self.

I finally figured out that I started getting less sleep at night when anorexia started to resurface.  I did not come to this conclusion sooner, and then again, anorexia affects my thinking as well.  So I decided to be productive and do something about it (Turning the Mind). 

Many people suffering from anorexia, or its relapse like me, also are perfectionists.  I, often, define myself by my productivity and I am trying to define myself through my poetry, through being a good friend and being my true self (relationship thinking).

What I did do about it was list Anorexia’s Pros and Cons.  This is not the typical two-sided T chart.  DBT does it a little differently.  I first listed the Pros of having anorexia (By having anorexia the positives are…), the Cons of having anorexia (By having anorexia the negatives are…), then the Pros of not having anorexia (If I don’t have anorexia the positives are…), and the Cons of not having anorexia (If I don’t have anorexia, the negatives are...).  The chart below may help:

Pros of having ANOREXIA (By having ANOREXIA, the positives are…)

Cons of having ANOREXIA (By having ANOREXIA, the negatives are…)

Pros of not having ANOREXIA (If I don’t have ANOREXIA, the positives are…)

Cons of not having ANOREXIA (If I don’t have ANOREXIA, the negatives are…)

It amazes me how well this worked.  Perhaps it is the fact that I love logic and math.  After all, I was employed as a successful accountant. I repeated the process for the Pros and Cons of staying with my ex-fiance, now my current boyfriend.  It made my thinking, though not the decision, clearer and easier to evaluate. (Pros and Cons).

Something else great happened today.  I was able to Radically Accept that I can love someone dearly and strongly dislike what they did.  In this case, I am referring to the abuse by a close family member.  I finally feel totally free (Radical Acceptance).  Writing and therapy both helped me come to this conclusion (Describe and Participate).

And with that conclusion, this shall be my conclusion for the night!