Showing posts with label Self-respect effectiveness (FAST). Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-respect effectiveness (FAST). Show all posts

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Pluses and Minuses

Today, I am tired.  This post may be short. It is important to me that I share my experiences.  Notice I am not apologizing unnecessarily.  I am using the Self respect effectiveness skill of FAST (FAST).  Being firm, avoiding unnecessary apologies, sticking to my values, and being true to self.

I finally figured out that I started getting less sleep at night when anorexia started to resurface.  I did not come to this conclusion sooner, and then again, anorexia affects my thinking as well.  So I decided to be productive and do something about it (Turning the Mind). 

Many people suffering from anorexia, or its relapse like me, also are perfectionists.  I, often, define myself by my productivity and I am trying to define myself through my poetry, through being a good friend and being my true self (relationship thinking).

What I did do about it was list Anorexia’s Pros and Cons.  This is not the typical two-sided T chart.  DBT does it a little differently.  I first listed the Pros of having anorexia (By having anorexia the positives are…), the Cons of having anorexia (By having anorexia the negatives are…), then the Pros of not having anorexia (If I don’t have anorexia the positives are…), and the Cons of not having anorexia (If I don’t have anorexia, the negatives are...).  The chart below may help:

Pros of having ANOREXIA
(By having ANOREXIA, the positives are…)
Cons of having ANOREXIA
(By having ANOREXIA, the negatives are…)

Pros of not having ANOREXIA
(If I don’t have ANOREXIA, the positives are…)
Cons of not having ANOREXIA
(If I don’t have ANOREXIA, the negatives are…)

It amazes me how well this worked.  Perhaps it is the fact that I love logic and math.  After all, I was employed as a successful accountant. I repeated the process for the Pros and Cons of staying with my ex-fiance, now my current boyfriend.  It made my thinking, though not the decision, clearer and easier to evaluate. (Pros and Cons).

Something else great happened today.  I was able to Radically Accept that I can love someone dearly and strongly dislike what they did.  In this case, I am referring to the abuse by a close family member.  I finally feel totally free (Radical Acceptance).  Writing and therapy both helped me come to this conclusion (Describe and Participate).

And with that conclusion, this shall be my conclusion for the night!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

It Was Like Pulling Teeth

Reaching my goals was like pulling teeth

Today, I had to go to the dentist, again.  While they used the drill, I used skill(s).  Thankfully, I focused on doing one thing at a time (One Mindfully) which helps me since I have truly have serious memory problems.  I’m focusing on what works for me (Effectiveness).  I recalled reading my Covered Benefits statement and remembered that composite (white/bonded) fillings are a covered service.  However, my new dentist, after my other new dentist committed a variety of criminal infractions (yes, really), actually outright lied to me to increase her own income.  This is the story and how I used my skills.

I am very depressed about needing 15 fillings and 1 crown because I brush my teeth twice a day, floss, use Prevident, and Act Total Care both with fluoride and visit the dentist every 6 months.  I just had a checkup two months ago, yet none of this was detected…hence the criminal infractions…charging for services that weren’t performed, falsifying records (after all dental records are used to identify bodies, OMG), and refusing to give me my dental records which is required by law.

Most people are scared of the dentist anyhow.  This certainly scared me.  My newest dentist told me that Medicaid only pays for composite fillings on the four front teeth.  I asked her twice.  Her staff and billing department told me the same thing and recommended that I pay out of pocket and were practically writing up the bill when I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have silver over most, not all, (relationship thinking) of my teeth.  These are the teeth that I care for every day.  I told the dentist and her staff that I thought Medicaid covered all composites and that I even had composites done on my other teeth.  Of course these fell out and my new dentist told me “You get what you pay for”.

I was scheduled for these fillings at 11am today.  I called the Medicaid State Dental Unit and wanted to know what services were covered.  I explained (Describe) the situation and provided background, I thanked the representative for their past help (Encouragement).  Then I asked (Ask) specifically if composite fillings were a covered service.  She said she didn’t know.  What!  This is the highest level (comparable to the Supreme Court) and the representative was telling me she didn’t know and to just ask my dentist, they would know.

I explained that I read it was covered, that one dentist was telling me the composites were covered, and my current dentist was telling me only four were covered.  I asked (Asked) for clarification on the mixed messages.  She said to take the dentist at their word. 

I was in awe that she was not helpful in the least.  So I tried to practice Non-Judgmental Stance (Non-Judgmental Stance).  It worked.  I thought about other ways to get the needed information and called a local dental clinic and Medicaid customer support who all led me back to the State Medicaid Dental Unit.

So, I called again hoping to get another representative.  No luck there so I continued my Objective Effectiveness skills of DEARMAN:  I repeated our earlier conversation regarding the mixed messages (Reinforced). I was conscious (Mindful) that there are only 6 employees for the entire state.  I emphasized my belief that I was correct that they were covered (Appear Confident) and asked her if she could please check with someone on her staff (Negotiate).  She said they were a covered service.  I asked, “For all my teeth?”  “Yes, and you don’t need pre-authorization for fillings.”

Repeated the skills with my new dentist who, rather reluctantly, told me I was correct, however, it was her practice and she used higher grade materials so she was choosing not to do it herself since Medicaid had not raised their rates in ten years.  She was more than willing to let me have them done by another dentist.  She didn’t have to lie to me in the first place to coax me into paying out of pocket to better her pocket.  And she didn’t have to have her staff cover for her.  I am still deciding what to do about this matter, for a later post.

I felt intimidated especially since she was going to be drilling in my mouth, however, I asserted myself and told her she could have told me this ahead of time.  I usually avoid confrontation but instead I was fair to myself, didn’t apologize, stuck to what I knew was right, and kept my honor (Self-respect effectiveness:  FAST) and (opposite to emotion action).  I gave the dentist a half-smile to show I was calm and aware of her final honesty (Half-smile). And I appreciated that she uses better materials and does not discriminate against those with Medicaid. 

I increased my feelings of self-worth and confidence through creative writing at SMITH and on my blog (Building Mastery).  I exercised in moderation (PLEASE).  I also reread my therapy homework assignment which increased my self-confidence and kept me calm (Build positive experiences).

On that note, I think tonight I will practice guided imagery or just relax (IMPROVE).

Here’s to good dental health.