In the Heat of the Moment, I was One in the Moment

Last night, I had an opportunity to mindfully practice my skills.  It was almost a full blown crisis and I turned it around.  I am grateful that through my hard work in DBT Skills Group & in Women's Trauma Group, also based on DBT, my skills have become ingrained.  They are second nature especially when I start off using the purposely.  What I mean by that will hopefully be explained.

I was very upset however I did not resort to my old behavior of self-harm or anorexia.  I was even able to keep from dissociating.  This may be a first.  I tried the Interpersonal Effectiveness (Relationship Effectiveness) skills of GIVE.  I was gentle in my approach, I communicated my interest, validated the other person's perceptions in an easy manner.  However, they erupted like a volcano.  I could have retreated like I usually do but I know that I would swallow my hurt and it would somehow take on another form.  So, I used (Self Respect Effectiveness) FAST.  I was firm, I asserted my beliefs, in a calm fashion, and did not apologize for something I didn't do, and I remained true to myself.  I did not succumb to their level and yell and curse.  I did not talk at someone but tried to talk to them.  I also used Participate (Participate) by not avoiding the uncomfortable situation but engaging in the experience so I wouldn't stuff my feelings.

I was very upset but I did my best not to dissociate and it worked.  I was One in the Moment (One-in-the-Moment).  I focused on the objects around me and noticed the colors and details (Awareness &  Observe).  I breathed in 2 and out 6 to calm my racing pulse. (Breathe).  Then it happened...

Because I was mindfully using my skills, the ingrained part of my brain used other skills without me even trying.  I used something that is entirely effective (Effectiveness) in a crisis but I can never remember.  It is part of Distress Tolerance's IMPROVE.  I use imagery a lot but this wasn't it.  It was Prayer (IMPROVE the moment).  I was overcome with peace when I asked for God's help and truly believed that 1.) He wouldn't give me more than I could handle  and 2.) I didn't have to go through this alone.  I then immediately calmed down and fell fast to sleep (PLEASE).

Here's to wishing everyone a successful skill-filled good night.