Trick and Treat

Today I am taking a slightly different twist on Halloween.  Instead of “Trick or Treat”, I am saying “Trick and Treat” because, with the dialectical, I can have two opposite emotions at the same time (Dialectical).  One does not negate or preclude the other.  Please feel free to borrow the saying for next year.

Today has been both.  I am going to be brutally honest.  The tricky part of the day involved the tricks that I allow anorexia to play on my mind.  My body image has been skewed for about 8 months now.  I am not allowing myself guilty pleasures including potato chips, candy, massages and daydreams.  I know that in moderation, any of these are fine and I do believe it sometimes (Wise Mind). 

The other trick is self-doubt.  I was certain about my decision not to get back together with my ex-fiance and I am uncertain that I can stick with my original decision.  I am gullible (Non-Judgmental Stance)am vulnerable when my defenses are down such as when I am tired, when I don’t give my body nourishment, and when I am faced with strong emotions including laughter and anger.

I was really tired, twice today, and I refused to take a nap (PLEASE-Sleep).  In other words, I did not allow myself a treat.  Actually, for me, the narcolepsy makes napping a requirement instead of a treat.  I had a hard time using skills today and I can have a better day beginning now (Turning the Mind).

The treat was that my relationship with my Dad seems to be improving.  We hugged.  I scratched his back.  And he has mine (Relationship Effectiveness).  I also treated myself last night with Belleruth Naparstek’s Guided Imagery for Fibromyalgia (IMPROVE- Imagery). 

I remembered to pray and express my thanks that the pain in my neck and head eventually abated.  I am grateful it was not worse, like last year.  I also asked for help from Mom & God to decrease my anxiety (IMPROVE- Prayer).  They reminded me to use Describe.  I’ve been spending too much time in my own head, so when I realized I was doing this, I stopped.  Instead I focused on one thing at a time (One Mindfully) and described the objects in my room out loud (Describe).  This really works for me and is a wonderful thought stopper. I also focused on the physical sensations of my body, where it was and how I felt (Awareness).

I was cognizant of my language.  I don’t usually curse, but this is not what I mean.  Instead I was conscious of avoiding terms like “Always”, “Never”, “All”, or “None” (Relationship Thinking).  I think I succeeded.

With that, I will proceed to wind down for the night. And once again, “Happy Halloween – Trick and Treat”.