Looking back on my day - Observing

Today, I practiced Mindfulness.  In particular, the Observe (Observe) skill.  At first, you're probably saying, "Big deal.  So you stopped and took notice of what is around you.  Laa.Dee.Dah".  Actually, it's a huge deal. 

I often spend too much time in my own head, replaying my day and pondering what would have been if I did things differently.  I can get lost in there, it's such a maze.

I practiced without judgment (Non-Judgmental Stance), another mindfulness skill, but I'll save that for a later post.  I was feeling a little tense so I laid on my back with both my knees bent and both feet on the couch.  I set an intention (Turning the Mind) that I would just let the thoughts, whatever they were, to come and go without categorizing them.  I started with counted breath (Breathing), in two counts, out six.  The thoughts came and went like a old movie film on a reel.  They were passing clouds.  I saw amorphous shapes that turned into images.  I just was. I was being. I was genuine. I was me.

The second time that I used Observe today was when I was confronted with severe memory problems.  We're not talking about something that just slipped my mind.  We are talking about a TV show that I supposedly watched several episodes last week with the same leading characters and I truly don't recall any of it --AT ALL.  So, instead of freaking out and making my memory even worse, I said to myself..."It just is". No judgment (Non-Judgmental Stance).  Just Radical Acceptance (Radical Acceptance).  Used Wise Mind (Wise Mind).  The rational or intellect met the emotional or feeling.  They kept each other in check.  In balance.  And, I was OK. 

It is scary and I know it's due to a medical condition.  This is a great example of the Dialectical.  Feeling two opposite things at the same time, neither negating the other.  Notice, and I will honestly admit, that I had to correct myself because my original sentence used "but" as a conjunction when Wise Mind meant and said, "It is scary and I know. . ."    [Thanks DBT Group Facilitators and Members] and thanks to my Wise Mind.